Tango:High School
by PhantomElphaba
Summary: Originally just Tango:High School. Now a parody of RENT songs? Got ideas? Let me know. You'll get credit, I promise. Rated for mild language.
1. Tango: High School

**Hi guys!  
Ok, this parody-thingy came about one Friday after school. My school gets out at 3:30, and my dad gets off at 4. He usually picks my brother up, and then me, since he works downtown, where our schools are, and our schools are only, like, two blocks away. However, he didn't come until, like 4:45. I was all alone, and it was hot. I started singing _Tango:Maureen_, but, in my anger and frustration, I ended up changing some words around.**

**The basic story, is Caitlin is waiting for her dad with a nearly dead cell. Her ex-boyfriend, Jake, is still there, and, since he can drive, offers her a ride. (Note- Caitlin's wearing Crocs, so her her feet are sweating like crap.)  
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**The Tango: High School

(The parking lot outside of a large high school. Caitlin is pacing nervously, clutching a nearly-dead cell phone in her hand, her dark blue crocs squeaking when she turns, and her hair pulled messily up off of her neck. Jake walks up, somewhat nervously, and clears his throat. Catilin stops pacing and looks at him)

Caitlin: (venomously) Jake...

Jake: Uh...hi.

C:  
(turns her back to him) I told you we were through.

J:  
I know, but, can I offer you a ride, since I'm here, and your dad's not?

C:  
He's on his way...

J:  
Great! Well, I'll see ya...

C:  
Wait! (turns to look at him) He's three hours late...

J:  
(Looks at watch) 30 minutes...

C:  
Whatever...  
_My father's been delayed  
By my brother..._

J:  
_There's another way…(_uncomfortable with silence from her)  
_Say something...  
Anything._

C:  
(Jumping angrily down the steps with each word)  
_When. Will. He. Come!_

J:  
(hangs head) _Anything but...that_

C:  
_It's so hot_

J:  
_It's hot_

C:  
_Very hot_

J:  
_Fuckin' hot_

C:  
_I'm so mad that I don't know what to do  
Fighting with Tom and Drew  
Sweating lakes in my shoes  
And to top it all off...  
I'm with you _

J:  
_Feel like going insane  
Gotta fire in your brain  
And your thinking of drinking gasoline?_

C:  
_As a matter of fact..._

J:  
_Honey, I know this act  
It's called, the Tango: High School  
The Tango: High School!  
It's a dark, dizzy, merry-go-round  
As they keep you dangling..._

C:  
You're wrong...

J:  
_You're grades they are mangling..._

C:  
It's different with me...

J:  
_And you toss and you turn,  
'Cause the stress, it can burn;  
Yet you yearn, and you churn, and rebound..._

C:  
_I think I know what you mean..._

Both:  
_The Tango: High School!_

J:  
_Have you ever pouted your lips,  
And begged for...one A?_

C:  
Oh, yes.

J:  
_Have you ever doubted a Quiz or two?_

C:  
_This is…spooky_  
_Do you swoon when they hand back your grades?_

J:  
_Every time, so be...cautious._

C:  
_Do you moon over other A's?_

J:  
_More than moon..._

C:  
_I'm getting...nauseous._

(They, strangely, begin to tango, with Jake leading)

J:  
Where'd you learn to tango?

C:  
With the dance teacher, Mr. Moore, in his classroom at break. And you?

J:  
With Mrs. King, the drama teacher after school three weeks ago. (They switch, and Caitlin leads) It's hard to do this backwards.

C:  
You should try it in crocs! (They dance for a while, until their faces are inches apart. Caitlin pulls away quickly)  
_I cheated!_

J:  
_You cheated?_

C:  
_Jake, I cheated!_

J:  
_Fuckin' cheated!_

C:  
_I'm defeated  
I should give up right now._

J:  
(puts an arm around her shoulder.)  
_Gotta look on the bright side  
With all of your might..._

C:  
(breaks away and turns to look at him, despair written all over her face)  
_I'd fall for it still anyhow!_

B:  
_When you're dancing its dance,  
You don't stand a chance  
The grip of the grade makes you fall!_

J:  
_So ya' think, 'Might as well...'_

C:  
_'...Dance a tango to Hell...'_

B:  
_'...At least I'll have tangoed at all.'  
The Tango:High School!  
Gotta dance till your teachers are through!  
You pretend to believe them!  
'Cause, till the end, you can't leave them!  
But the end it will come,  
Still ya' have to play dumb,  
Till you're glum, and you bum, and turn blue!_

J:  
_Why do they love when we're mean?_

C:  
_But they can be so obscene..._

J:  
(hands her a cell phone battery.)  
Here, try this. (Caitlin replaces the battery, and the phone instantly rings. She answers it.)

C:  
(Into the phone)  
Daddy, I'm...pause...POOKIE! Oh, no. **_NEVER _**call me "Pookie" again!...(looks at Jake) Forget it. I got a ride. (hangs up)

B:  
_The Tango...High School!_ (Walk hand-in-hand to Jake's car and leave)  
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**So, what'd ya' think? I know it was kinda random, but, it was Friday, and hot, and I was pissed at my dad for being late.**

**Please review.**


	2. Light My Candle

**Hello, once again. I realized that I really like writing parodies of my favorite songs, especially those from musicals. So, what was originally just "Tango: High School" has now become a collection of RENT song parodies. This one -- "Light My Candle" -- was originally my best friend's idea, but she gave me permission to post it. (I owe you one, Kaida.) **

**Okay, so here's the background:  
****It's modern-day, NYC. The Teen Titans broke up a few years before, after Terra died. Beast Boy is living in an apartment, but he doesn't know that Raven lives in the apartment directly above him. Elphaba is the same age as she is at Shiz and she lives in the apartment directly below him. Raven and Elphaba know each other, and Elphie's about to meet Beast Boy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Teen Titans_, _Wicked, _or _RENT._ Those belong to their respective creators.

* * *

**

(Beast boy is in his apartment. The power is out. There is a knock on the door. He answers it and Elphaba, who lives downstairs, is there, a candle in her hand. Her power is out also.)

**Beast Boy:  
**_What'd you forget?_

**Elphaba:  
**_Got a light?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_I know you, you're…you're shivering_

**Elphaba:  
**_It's nothing they turned off my heat  
__And I'm just a little weak on my feet  
__Would you light my candle?  
__What are you staring at?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Nothing.  
__Your hair in the moooonlight.  
__You look familiar  
_(He lights her candle. She takes a step back and stumbles. He takes her by the shoulder and steadies her.)  
_Can you make it?_

**Elphaba:  
**(Winks at him)  
_Just haven't eaten much today  
__At least the room stopped spinning, anyway…  
__What?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Nothing.  
__Your smile reminded me –_

**Elphaba:  
**_I never remind people of…  
__Who is she?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_She died.  
__Her name was Terra._

(Elphaba discreetly blows her candle out.)

**Elphaba:  
**_It's out again.  
__Sorry 'bout your friend  
__Would you light my candle?_

(He lights it again.)

**Beast Boy:  
**_Well…_

**Elphaba:  
**_Yeah? Ow!_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Oh, the wax  
__It's –_

**Elphaba:  
**_Dripping.  
__I like it between my –_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Fingers!  
__I figured.  
__Oh well.  
__Good night._

(Elphaba walks out the door. Beast boy goes back to…whatever. There is another knock on the door. Beast Boy answers it, expecting Elphaba. Raven, who lives one floor above him, is there. She's looking for her stash…of teabags. She has an un-lit candle in her hand. Beast Boy doesn't recognize her.)

**Beast Boy:  
**_It blew out a-- _you're not her.

**Raven:  
**_No, I think that I dropped my stash_

**Beast Boy:  
**_I know I've seen you out and about  
__When I used to go out  
__Your candle's out._

**Raven:  
**_Ugh…I'm illin'  
__I had it when I walked in the door  
__It was pure  
__Is it on the floor?_

(She gets on her hands and knees to look for her stash. Beast Boy stares at her.)

**Beast Boy:  
**_The floor?_

**Raven:  
**_They say that I have the best ass  
__Below 14th street  
__Is it true?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_What?_

**Raven:  
**_You're starin' again._

**Beast Boy:  
**Hers was bet_ – I mean, you do  
__Have a nice…I mean…  
__You look familiar_

**Raven:  
**_Don't you know, I should?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Maybe if you'd smile,  
__Then I just my remember you quick_

**Raven:  
**_Were you not a  
__Teen Titan before?  
__That's where we met  
__We fought_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Yes!  
__You used to kick my ass._

**Raven:  
**_You annoyed me_

**Beast Boy:  
**_I didn't recognize you  
__Without your cape on_

**Raven:  
**_We could light the candle  
__Oh, won't you light the candle?!_

(He lights it)

**Beast Boy:  
**_Why don't you forget that stuff?  
__You look like you're 16_

**Raven:  
**_I'm 19!  
__I look young for my age  
__I'm just born to be bad_

**Beast Boy:  
**_I once was born to be bad  
__I used to shiver like that._

**Raven:  
**_I have no heat  
__You know that_

**Beast Boy:  
**_I used to sweat_

**Raven:  
**_I got a cold (cough…cough)_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Uh-huh.  
__I used to be a flunkie_

**Raven:  
**_Now and then I like to…_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Uh-huh._

**Raven:  
**…_feel good._

**Beast Boy:  
**Oh, here!

**Raven:  
**What's that!

**Beast Boy:  
**Oh…candy bar wrapper

**Raven:  
**_We could light the candle _(Beast Boy extinguishes the candle while Raven isn't looking.) _Oh, what'd you do with my candle?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_That was my last match_

**Raven:  
**_Our eyes'll adjust  
__Thank God for the moon_

**Beast Boy:  
**_Raven, it's not the moon at all  
__I hear Spike Lee's shootin' down the street_

**Raven:  
**_Bah Humbug_

(Elphaba comes into the room via the window and fire escape.)

**Raven and Elphaba:  
**_Bah Humbug_

(They each take one of his hands.)

**Beast Boy:  
**_Cold hands…_

**Raven and Elphaba:  
**_Yours too._

**Elphaba:  
**_Big._

**Raven:  
**_Like her father's._

**Raven and Elphaba:  
**_D'you wanna dance?_

**Beast Boy:  
**_With both you?_

**Raven and Elphaba:  
**_No…  
__With our fathers_

**Beast Boy:  
**_I go by 'Roger'_

**Raven:  
**You know my name.

(Elphaba is distracting Beast Boy as Raven goes around behind him to -- very discreetly -- search his pockets for her stash.)

**Elphaba:  
**_They call me…  
__They call me…  
__El-phie…_

(Raven waves her stash in front of his face, and both girls turn and walk out the door, laughing. Out in the hallway: )

**Elphaba:  
**You'd better take him, before I do.

* * *

**Haha! So what'd you guys think? Should I continue, or get back to writing "Truth of the Phantom"? I need a bit of humor and randomness. How 'bout this – I can't post a song parody until I post a new chapter of "Truth of the Phantom". How does that sound? Let me know by clicking that little blue button.**


End file.
